When J-- walked in the front door of the store, there were no other customers. Dani was working behind the counter, while her youngest daughter Karen was busily working at her colouring book in the corner by the jukebox. Anna was busily wiping down the tables and gathering the cups and debris from the customers who had just left.
"Morning Ladies," J-- offered cheerfully, "Hi Karen," he called as he waved to her.
Karen looked up and smiled, but turned back to her colouring.
"Good Morning MISTER J--," Anna offered, stretching out the 'mister' with a smile, "How are you today?" She glanced out the front window and noticed that J--'s car wasn't in its usual place by the curb out front. She looked around and didn't see his car or his Harley anywhere nearby, "You walking today J--?"
"Oh, I'm okay, I guess," J-- said as he crossed the floor towards the counter, pausing briefly before continuing, "and yeah I'm walking today."
"How come?" asked Anna, again busying herself cleaning the tables.
"I got a problem with my car port," answered J-- as he stood at the counter.
"What's the problem with your car port?" Dani asked as she turned to face J--. As she turned she gasped, "Oh my God J-- !!"
It was in that moment that she had noticed the bandages on J--'s hands and neck, and the obvious red welts on his cheeks and forehead.
Her attention drawn by Dani's gasp, Anna rounded the counter and looked up at J--. It was then that she too noticed J--'s battered appearance.
"What happened to you??" Anna asked, her voice also a gasp and her mouth hanging open slightly.
"Oh just some wasp stings," J-- answered cheerfully.
"That's more then just some wasp stings," replied Dani, "what happened?"
"I tried to be funny," said J-- as he took the cup of coffee Dani slid across the counter to him added cream and continued speaking, "and it kind of back fired."
"What did you do?" Anna's eyes narrowed as she looked at J--, "Is it connected to the problems with the car port?"
"Well, Yeah it is," J-- began, "This morning my son came over with his kids to pressure wash my drive way and the deck and patio furniture and so on. We were busy doing it. I would get the kids to carry the stuff out on to the lawn and he would clean it. Things were going along just fine all morning, and then I made a comment about the damned wasp nests I had in the yard. There was one on the peak of the house and another one under the eave inside the car port."
"So, what happened?" asked Anna, her face softening out of concern.
"I'll get there," said J-- as he took a sip of coffee, "So I mention those nests to my son, and he says 'No problem Dad, we'll just hit them with the power washer and knock 'em down and they'll be gone.' It sounded good to me, so I showed him where they were."
"And the wasps stung you when you tried?" said Dani, interupting him.
"Oh, no nothing that simple," said J-- with a laugh, "if we had just hit them with the power washer and left it at that it would have been fine. But I had to try to be the jokester. Just tried to be funny ..." J--'s voice trailed off as he laughed quietly at the recollection.
"What did you do?" said Anna, now leaning on the corner of the counter, her chin resting in her hand.
"Well, my son went over to the first wasp nest, the one on the peak of the roof and turned the power washer on," J-- continued, "and poof it was gone ... One good blast of the power washer and the nest was just gone. So then he goes into the car port. He has to squeeze past the car and manouver his way underneath the stupid thing. He gets in a good spot, he can get a clear shot at the nest and knock it down. And the wasps are just doing their thing, so he gives the hose a tug and gets ready to spray it, and I decide to make him laugh ..."
The two women stood silently, waiting ...
"Just as he pulls the trigger and starts blasting the nest with the stream of water, I decide to take the hose and fold it over to cut off the water supply." J-- says with a smirk.
"NO?" gasped Dani in horror, her eyes widening, "you didn't?"
"I did," laughed J--, grimacing in the pain it caused the stings on his face.
"You're horrible," said Anna, clearly delighted in the tale.
"I had to really reef on the hose to double it over and cut off the water supply," said J-- taking another sip of his coffee, "But I did it, and it leaves my son standing there with a tiny dribble of water coming out of the end of the power washer wand ... He clicks the trigger a couple of times and says 'Huh?' as he looks at the wand in disbelief. And then all hell broke loose in the garage. "
"No!!!???" said Dani now clearly horrified.
"So what happened?" asked Anna, now completely delighted by the story.
"The wasps were roaring out of the nest, like a tornado, " said J--, " and they were making a straight line for my son. So he starts waving the wand around trying to beat them off. He kept pulling the trigger trying to get the water going, and was swinging the wand around and screaming 'Run !! Run !! Run!!" all the while he's caught by the car and can't just run out of the garage. And I'm standing in the doorway of the garage laughing and laughing at the sight of him waving the wand around desperately trying to beat back the cloud of wasps ..."
"Did you let go of the hose?" asked Dani.
"Oh no," answered J--, "I was laughing so hard I just forgot ..."
"Is your son alright?" asked Anna.
"Oh yeah, he's fine," answered J-- as he continued, "we both got swarmed by the wasps and we got stung a few times. And in all the confusion with all the swinging and waving, he had broken the end off the wand by hitting something. But, fortunately, we managed to get away from them ..."
"Oh my God," uttered Dani in horror.
Anna was laughing, and saying nothing.
"Yeah, I guess it was a good joke idea that went kind bad," offered J--
"You think?" sputtered Anna amid the laughter.
"Yeah, I guess so," said J-- sipping from his coffee, "but it could have been worse ..."
"How?" asked Dani.
"I dunno," offered J-- with a sly smile, "Isn't that what you're supposed to say when stuff happens."
"Only if it's true," interjected Dani.
"I guess you're right," agreed J--, "the worst part of this though, is that my power washer is busted, my son isn't talking to me, and I still have that damned wasp nest in my car port ..."
"And you have to walk?" stated Anna as she wiped away tears of laughter from her eyes.
"Atleast until the wasps calm down," observed J-- as he picked up his coffee and took another sip and walked over to his usual table and sat down.
No comments:
Post a Comment