Wednesday, January 02, 2008

"Oh My God ..."

The usual assortment of regulars were gathered around the tables up front and handful of other patrons scattered throughout the shoppe. Bonnie was deep in a conversation with a young woman about the selection of tea available. Behind the counter Dani and Ainsley were busy filling orders for the customers standing by the counter.

It was by all accounts a typical winter morning, the shoppe was filled with the delightful chatter of conversation interspersed by the gutteral growl of the espresso machine. Suddenly the conversation stopped with a dozen pairs of eyes watching as Ross stolled passed on the sidewalk outside the front windows.

The espresso machine fell silent causing Dani glaced up with a perplexed look crossing her face as she wondered what had suddenly silenced everyone in the shoppe. She noticed that almost all eyes were cast towards the front windows of the store as though they were anticipating the arrival of someone or something grand. She was glancing about the shoppe when the door opened and Ross stepped into the shoppe with a broad grin across his face.

Dani's face lost all expression, though her eyes crinkled at the supressed smile and laughter she was fighting desperately to restrain.

"Morning," Ross offered his greeting to the table of regulars at the front by the fireplace.

They returned his greeting with smiles, shaking heads and quiet snorts as they glanced away.

As Ross rounded the corner of the counter two sounds greeted him simultaneously. The first was a loud shriek-like exclamation from Bonnie, the second was the sound of a coffee mug shattering on the floor as it dropped from her hands.

"OH MY GOD!!" exclaimed Bonnie as the mug fell, "What the hell is that?" she shuffled her feet as coffee splashed around her shoes. She glanced down at the remains of the coffee and mug uncertain what to focus on first.

"I got it," exclaimed Dani from behind the counter as she grabbed a cloth and dove into the clean up at Bonnie's feet.

"Thanks," muttered Bonnie as she wondered why Dani was giggling.

"No problem," Dani's words sounded choked and forced.

Bonnie looked back up at Ross as she stepped clear of Dani who was busily cleaning up the coffee.

"What?" said Ross, his jaw dropping as he struggled to comprehend his partner's reaction.

"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?" Bonnie's words escaped her lips like a hiss as she clenched her jaw tightly, desperately trying to restrain herself.

"I was invited to go skiing this afternoon with J--," said Ross glancing down at the new wind suit he was wearing, "and my old suit didn't fit properly, so I when I was in Brandon I bought this one." His arms offered a Vanna White like motion over his purchase, which he was obviously proud of.

"You bought THAT?" Bonnie's eyes widened with shock tempered slightly with revulsion.

"It was on sale," offered Ross sensing something that was yet unspoken, "I got a good deal on it."

"It's not the cost that concerns me," said Bonnie.

"Then what is it?" said Ross obviously confused.

"It's just ..." Bonnie stood staring at Ross. She was at a complete loss for words as she tried to offer an explanation to her partner for her reaction to his clothing choice.

"OH MY GOD," Ainsley's voice cut through the moment of silence, "YOU LOOK JUST LIKE A TELETUBBIE!!" her laughter stifled further comment.

"That's it," sputtered Bonnie with a laugh.

"I gotta go," shrieked Dani as she gathered the shards of the mug and rocketed to the kitchen. The sound of her laughter was untempered by her exit.

"I look like a what?" asked Ross looking somewhat perturbed. His mood was not helped by the laughter of the customers and regulars scattered around him.

"You look just like the Yellow teletubbie," said Ainsley wiping away the tears from her eyes.

"What?" said Ross dumbfounded.

"In that yellow suit, you look JUST like him," Ainsley offered as she leaned on the counter beside the cash register to steady herself as she shook with laughter.

"I do not!" said Ross firmly.

"Yes you do," said Bonnie laughing, "I just didn't know how to tell you."

Ross turned and glanced at his reflection in the mirrors lining the wall of the shoppe, "OH my God! I do ..." his voice trailed off as he turned side to side and took in the vista of himself shrouded in the bright yellow fabric of the wind suit he has been so proud of a moment ago, "I hadn't noticed it at the store ..."

The murmur of laughter rolled through the store as Ross stared downcast at his reflection.

"I guess I shouldn't wear this then," he pulled from his jacket pocket a matching bright yellow knitted toque that he slipped on his head. The pointy top lacked a tassle, and instead the long knitted fabric had a knot near the end that made it look remarkably like the zig zag that sat on the head of the yellow teletubbie.

"OH MY GOD," shrieked Dani as she came back out of the kitchen, "now you really look like that freaky little Laa-Laa."

"Oh damn ..." Ross stood crestfallen as the entire shoppe roared with laughter.

The door of the shoppe opened and in strolled J-- wearing his bright purple windsuit complete with a matching purple hat that had a huge oversized purple tassle on top. The hat was perched on the top of his head with his ears poking out in an elflike fashion underneath its brim.

"Morning all," said J-- with a smile as he rounded the counter.

"Oh Look Laa-Laa," said Ainsley as she resumed her laughter, "Tinky Winky is here now."

Ross looked like we wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry ...

Dani erupted into another peal of laughter with the words, "OH MY GOD!!"

Bonnie shook her head and walked away, "Have fun you too ..." As she rounded the ice cream cooler she paused and glanced back at J-- and Ross and said, "Teletubbie 'Bye bye'" with a wave and a smile.

No comments: