It's all a matter of size ...

Ross strolled out from the kitchen, pausing briefly at the ice cream cooler where slid back one side of the glass panels and helped himself to a bowl of Cherry Vanilla. He was plopping the third scoop in the dish when he noticed J-- watching him intently.

"Um," Ross hesitated and glanced around the shoppe before continuing, "didn't have any lunch," he observed in a forced tone, "just a bit peckish today."

J-- laughed as he spoke, "Sure Roscoe, whatever. No need to convince me. I'm not your conscience."

Ross slid the panel closed as he laughed. Then stepping towards where J-- sat on the couches, he pulled a spoon from the dispenser at the prep centre. Taking a large spoonful of ice cream he grinned as he sat down, "Gotta sample the product, otherwise I can't honestly recommend it to the customers, right?"

"Like I said," laughed J--, "whatever!!"

J-- glanced at the magazine in his hand then looked up and with a serious face asked Ross, "What kind of car do you drive?"

A surprised look crossed Ross' face as he answered, "A Toyota. Why?"

"Oh, just the article I'm reading," said J-- lifting the magazine up in his hand, "It claims there's a connection between a man's ego, the size of a part of his body and the size of the car he drives."

"What?" Ross' jaw dropped and the spoon slipped from his fingers into his lap, "It says that ..." His voice trailed off as the question lingered.

"Well, it says that the bigger the car, the more fragile the man's ego is, and the smaller the guy's .."

"It's doesn't say THAT," interrupted Ross.

"Sure right here," J--'s index finger marked a place in the magazine, "I'll read it to you."

"No, that's okay," said Ross his face reddening, "I'll take your word for it."

"Okay, " J-- chuckled, "So what do you think it says about the guys tooling around in those enormous over powered four by fours?"

"I don't even want to think about it?" laughed Ross, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Hey," J-- called over to a customer sitting at a table by the fireplace, "what kind of car do you drive?"

Confused, the young man answered, "A Mazda. Why?"

"Hmmm," J-- furrowed his brow thoughtfully while his eyes twinkled mischievously, "so, you a confident guy?"

"I guess so,"

"Got a girl friend," asked J--.

"Married," observed the young man, holding up his left hand and motioning to his wedding band with his right.

"Wife got any complaints," asked J--, smirking slightly.

"Only that I work to0 much."

"Any complaints," J-- glanced around the shoppe and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "in the bed room?"

"Not that it is really any of your business," said the young man, his confusion giving way to irritation, his voice growing strongly emphatic, "BUT NO!!"

J-- turned to Ross and smiled, "See!! Like the article says ... " his index pointed to magazine.

"The article said what?" enquired the young man.

"Oh," replied J--, "it says there's a direct connection between the size of a man's car and his ego and the size of his ..."

"J--!!" Ross interrupted, "can't you just show him the article?"

"Oh yeah," answered J--, as he handed the magazine over to the young man, "hadn't thought of that."

"Sounds reasonable to me," said the young man taking the magazine, and laughing. "But what kind of car do you drive old man?" he asked J--.

J-- pointed out the front window to the Volkswagen parked on the street, "That's mine."

"I take it you agree with the article," observed the young man.

"Absolutely," laughed J--, "absolutely."