Overheard at Chipperfields' ... Part LXV ...

The Rev was sitting at one of the tables with a stack of books and material spread across the table in front of him, he was working on a variety of paperwork including some of his sermon preparation. He looked up as J-- strolled in the front door of the shop.

J-- paused to greet the four women sitting on the couches in front of the fireplace. The Rev took the pause to gather up his paperwork and clear a space for J-- and the two other regulars who had followed him in the door.

J-- smiled at JayDee as he hung his winter coat up on one of the chairs lining the counter in front of the computer, "I'll have my usual," he said to her with a broad grin.

"One Manitoba Organic coming up," said JayDee, with a warm smile in return, "I'll bring it out to you when it's ready."

J-- put his right thumb in the air and winked with a 'click, click' sound as he headed over to the table and joined The Rev, "Working on your sermon?" J-- asked as he sat down.

"Yeah," answered The Rev, "that and doing some paper work for the Building project."

"Still working on that giant Bobble Headed Jesus for the Bell Tower?" asked J-- with a snicker.

"Yeah," laughed The Rev, "I'm trying to line up donors to help make it happen too!!" He laughed as he pulled out a sheet of paper, "I'm just looking over the material from the architect for the upcoming board meeting. We're getting close to having everything finalized and sent out to tender."

"That's kind of exciting," said J--, smiling, "betcha a year ago when the old Church burned down you didn't think you would see this day did you?"

"There were moments," said The Rev, nodding his head in agreement, "I'll tell you though, the fire really was the least of the issues that was facing us last year."

"Oh I know," laughed J--, "I know ..."

The two men laughed and nodded their heads in unison.

"So, did you ever get off that Impaired Driving charge?" asked J--, his eyes twinkling.

"Yeah, I used the 7000 dollars that I took from the church," affirmed The Rev, smiling and laughing.

"Anybody who believes that kind of stuff is not playing with a full deck," stated J-- with a broad smile, "but then you gotta consider the source. And we ALL know where this nonsense has come from. And, when you're dealing with alcoholic families you're dealing with some pretty strange stuff."

"You don't need to tell me that," said The Rev, "Been there, done that, and I got the T-shirt to prove it. Wanna see it, it's black with white writing on it?"

The two men again laughed as J-- asked, "So, you're getting close to breaking ground?"

"Looks that way," said The Rev pulling out the latest floor plan for the new church building from the pile of paper work in front of him, "hopefully when the frost comes out of the ground and the lot dries up in the spring."

"Excellent," exclaimed J-- as JayDee set his tea down in front of him, "thank you my dear," said J-- winking at JayDee, "Hey, aren't you going to say anything to your 'hubby' while you're here?" J--'s hand motioned to The Rev as he snorted and laughed.

JayDee's eyes widened at his comment, "MY hubby?" JayDee asked with a gasp, "J--, you're really not helping ..." As she was blushing, she turned and walked back behind the counter shaking her head as she went, leaving the two men sitting at the table laughing.

At this, J-- and The Rev were joined the two regulars who were standing chatting by the counter as they put cream and sugar in their coffees.

"So, what are you two discussing with such seriousness?" asked one of the Regulars as he and the other regular sat down with J-- and The Rev.

"Oh, we're just discussing the rebuilding of the Church," said The Rev.

"And the rebuilding of The Rev's reputation in town," added J--.

"The first one is easy," said the second Regular, "But the second one." he paused as he shook his head, "Well, all I can say is - 'good luck'. Rumours are nasty things, and small minded people will never stop being mean and ornery ..."

"Sheesh," said J-- with a broad smile, "How do you REALLY feel ??"

The table erupted in laughter, drawing the attention of most people in the shop including JayDee who was tending a new customer who had ordered a Snickers Specialty Lattee.

"Hey, on a slightly different note," said J--, "did any of you ever hear about that shrubby family living down near Rapid City in the valley?"

"Shrubby?" asked The Rev, "what does 'shrubby' mean?"

"They're kinda like hippies," stated J--, "they're living in a log cabin the dad built by the river. They have no hydro or anything. They're just trying to live off the land."

"Home schooling the kids?" asked one of the regulars.

"No, actually" said J--, "The kids go into Rapid City and are doing real well."

"So, what's the big deal about this family?" asked The Rev, "they want to live off the grid and grow their own food and everything. What's does that have to do with spring?"

"Oh, it's not that," said J--, "my daughter was telling me this morning about what happened to the family this past spring. And when you were talking about spring I remembered it ..." J--'s voice trailed off as he looked around the table at the dumbfound expressions of his friends.

The other three at the table shook their heads, looking puzzled, then with a smile The Rev asked simply, "where are you going with this man?"

"Oh, yeah," J-- took a sip of his tea as he started is story, "well, it turns out this family had no plumbing in the cabin, so they had a biffy down by the river."

"Biffy?" asked one of the Regulars.

"Even I know that's an outhouse," said The Rev, then glancing at J--, he asked "Isn't it?"

J-- nodded as he continued the story, "Well, their 10 year old son hated the biffy. It was too cold in the winter, too hot in the summer, too full of bugs in the spring and too full of spiders in the fall. And it stunk to high heaven all year round."

"I remember the outhouse on my grand parents' farm up Laurier way," said one of the regulars, "it was just like that ..."

J-- again nodded, "So was the one I grew up with on the North side of the tracks," his thumb jerked out towards the north end of town, "anyway, back to this little guy. He hated the biffy. I mean hated it. So in the spring when the river was running high and it was lapping at the back of the biffy he went down with a big pole and used it to crank the whole works over in to the flood waters."

"He dumped it in the river?" asked The Rev.

"Right in," said J--, slapping the table, "dumped the sucker over into the river and stood to watched it float away down stream."

"Bet he wasn't sad," said one of the Regulars.

"Nope, he wasn't" said J--, "but the story's not over yet."

"So, what happened when his parents found out what he did?" asked The Rev.

J-- laughs and says, "Well that's the kicker of the story. It is supper time and the lad comes in and sits down at the table. As he sits down his father says to him, 'Son, when dinner's done we're going out behind the woodshed for a spanking. Do you know why?' The little guy thinks for a minute and realizes his dad knows the biffy got dumped into the river, so he doesn't try to hide it. 'Yes dad,' the little guy says, 'I am getting a spanking because I dumped the outhouse into the river this afternoon.' The little boy watched his dad who nodded his head, then the little guy tossed his Hail Mary play. 'But dad, in school this week we learned about George Washington, the first president of the United States, and how he valued the truth. Our teacher told us that once when he was a boy, George chopped down a cherry tree and when his father found out and asked him about it, young George told his father that he could never tell a lie, and so he confessed to chopping down the tree and his father never punished him.' The dad nodded his head earnestly and said, 'Yes, son I know all of that, but the difference is that George Washington's father wasn't sitting in the cherry tree when he chopped it down ...' "

The three men at the table with J-- paused for a moment as they glanced at each other, then they began to laugh. J-- had a broad smile on his face as his three companions shook their heads in amusement ...