Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Overheard at Chipperfields' ... Part LXIII ... (part 3) ...

"So dahlin' where can I take y'all for a bite of dinner?" the stetson hatted rancher asked, standing before the gathered crowd of regulars and staff who were stunned into silence, "y'all know of some place nice 'round here?"

"Um ..." Jaydee swallowed, "I didn't expect to see you here again ..." her voice trailed off as her eyes glanced at Ross.

Ross had pulled his fedora down over his eyes and was looking at the floor about three inches in front of his feet.

"Oh dahlin' how could I stay away?" laughed the rancher in a deep southern accent, "y'all done beguiled me, and I juz't couldn't stay away ..."

"But I'm married," interupted Jaydee, suddenly regaining her momentum, and waving her left hand in front of her face. As she spoke the gathered crowd stood spell bound.

"Shoot," said the rancher, "I got me a dozen rings like that. All y'all need to do is swing by a jewellery store and plunk down a few bucks ... it don't mean a thing."

"Mine does," Jaydee protested, her voice sounding a little choked, "This is the real thing, and it means I can't go with your for dinner, and I can't ... I can't ..." Jaydee searched the crowd looking for anyone who might be able to rescue her from this insanity.

"Well, dahlin' that's a nice speech, but unless I meet this here hubby of yours face to face, I'm not gonna believe that y'all not making this up ..." the rancher glanced around the crowd, "so, is your hubby here, or has he let this filly out all by herse'lf where a poacher could lasso her?"

Jaydee searched the crowd looking for someone she could introduce as her spouse. Most of the men were old enough to be her father, or they weren't wearing a wedding band. Her eyes landed on The Rev, who was standing back near the Juke Box, smiling.

"This is my husband," Jaydee said, her voice bordering on a desperate screech. She reached out and put her arm through The Rev's and pulled him towards the counter.

"What the ..." The Rev sputtered, startled.

"Shut up and play along," hissed Jaydee in his ear, "Play along and I'll give you free coffee for ever ..."

The Rev smiled and nodded and meekly followed her to the counter.

"This is my husband," Jaydee lifted The Rev's left hand to show the Rancher a wedding band, then without even thinking or pausing she kissed him full on the lips. The crowd cat called in response, Ross' head snapped up and his eyes widened like saucers.

"Well, I'll be," muttered the rancher taking note of the cleric collar The Rev was wearing, "I wouldn't want to be taking a preacher's lady." He removed his hat and nodded his head slightly, "I'm awful sorry about all this Pastor. I meant no offense, it's just that wife of yours is one pretty lady."

"Um," The Rev struggled for words, "It's not a problem. Just a minor misunderstanding." He offered his right hand to the rancher, "no harm done."

"You're right there partner," the rancher said shaking The Rev's hand vigorously, "you're right."

The Rev smiled and glanced at Jaydee who was still clinging tightly to his arm and smiling a forced smile.

"Thank you," Jaydee's voice sounded relieved.

"You're welcome," The Rev offered back with a smile.

"Well, I think I need to be on my way," said the rancher lifting his stetson and nodding towards Jaydee, "I best be off again ..." He tipped his hat at Jaydee, "It's been a pleasure young lady."

"Well, bye," offered Jaydee after a moment of silence, "it was nice to meet y'all. Thanks for stopping by."

"Have you signed our guest book?" asked Ross, suddenly breaking free of his silence.

"Ross ..." Bonnie hissed as she smacked him on the shoulder.

"Yeap," answered the rancher, "I signed the book when this pretty young filly brought it out to me the other day ..." He smiled at Jaydee, whose eyes were wide, and whose face remained expressionless, "Y'all should know that she sure did do a good job of making me feel welcome." He again tipped his hat at Jaydee, then turned to leave.

"This is one fine establishment," he glanced around as he headed for the door, "but don y'all have lives and jobs and things to get on back to?" He shook his head and chuckled as he headed out the door.

There was a long pause before anyone spoke.

"Well I'll be damned," laughed J-- as he broke the silence, "I think that was pretty close to being one of the funniest things I've seen." He glanced at Ross still garbed in his purple hat and jacket, "and gawd knows I've seen some funny stuff." He laughed as he took in the vista of Ross dressed like a pimp.

The assembled crowd laughed as they began to find seats and move about in the store.

Jaydee's grip on The Rev's arm loosened slightly, she glanced up at him, "Thank you ..."

"You're welcome," he repeated, "but a biit of lead time would be appreciated next time," he observed.

"I hope there won't be a next time," said Jaydee glancing out the front window.

"Me too," added Bonnie.

"She was just being friendly to him ... OW !!" Ross winced as Bonnie pinched him on the arm.

"Ross, you're not helping," snapped Bonnie.

"Sorry dear," answered Ross as he looked down, "but do you like my new look?"

Bonnie stared at Ross wordlessly then slowly shook her head with disdain.

"Oh?" gulped Ross.

"Now about that coffee?" asked The Rev glancing down at Jaydee with a smile, "I remember hearing something about it being for free?"

Jaydee smiled warmly, a look of relief passed over her face. "Absolutely," she said as she squeezed The Rev's arm and released it, "absolutely ..."

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