Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Overheard at Chipperfields' ... Part LX ...

The door opened and closed with a loud whump, partially from the wind, and paritally from the speed at which Ross entered the store.

"Is he here?" Ross asked as he rounded the counter.

"Who?" asked Bonnie, looking up at Ross, "and why are you coming in the front door?"

"The Rev," answered Ross, glancing around the seating area and nodding at J--, who was in his usual spot by the wall, "Is The Rev here?"

"Haven't seen him yet this morning," answered J--, smiling.

"Ross!" Bonnie's voice was sharp and had a parental tone, "Why are you flying in the front door like you've seen a ghost? AND why are you looking for The Rev."

"I think he's trying to avoid The Rev," answered Jaydee, fighting not to laugh.

Ross was glancing around the store and out the front windows much like a caged animal will pass and glance about nervously.

"Ross," Bonnie again snapped, "calm down will you. The Rev isn't here, and you don't have to be afraid of him anyway."

"I would be so sure about the last part," said J--, now laughing, "and it is almost 10 o'clock, so The Rev is due in anytime." J-- paused for effect, before finishing his thought, "if he comes in today."

Ross glanced nervously out the front window as though he expected The Rev to suddenly materialize on the sidewalk out side.

"Why are you so worked up?" asked J--, as he stood and walked towards the counter where Ross was standing before Bonnie and Jaydee, "and what's in the box."

"Umm," Ross glanced out the front window for the umpteenth time, "I'm not worked up," he stammered his words slightly, "I just want to show him my latest idea."

"Oh God Ross, what are you doing now?" groaned Bonnie, "did you just get The Rev settled down after you Prairie Spring Ministries idea?"

"Hey, we're still making good money off of that," answered J--, motioning to the pile of envelopes he had been opening at the table by the wall.

"So, that's what you were up to over there," Bonnie spoke in a low monotone voice, bordering on a growl, "I kind of wondered if you were in cahoots with Ross."

"This isn't a ministry idea," said Ross pulling the small cardboard box tighter under his arm.

"Then what is it?" said Bonnie, her eyes narrowing.

"A sales opportunity," answered Ross, holding the box tightly.

"What kind of a sales opportunity Ross?" asked Bonnie, her voice sounding out each syllable concisely, much like the computer voice in 2001 A Space Odyssey.

"Let me see," said J--, snatching the box out from under Ross' arm and pulling it open in one fluid motion. He gasped as he opened the box and then began laughing as he withdrew a small yellow box from within, "are you planning on selling these?"

J-- held aloft a Jesus Bobble-head doll in a bright yellow box.

"Ross !!" Bonnie gasped.

"Oh My God," snorted Jaydee.

"Let me explain," offered Ross in a choked voice, "it's not like it seems."

"It's not like it seems," answered Bonnie incredulously, "if it's not what it seems, then what is IT?"

"Umm," Ross hesitated as he tried to find the right words, "well, you know the advertising campaign that the United Church is doing," around him all three heads nodded, "and you know how The Rev is quite taken with the campaign and the Jesus Bobble-heads?" again heads nodded in assent, "well, I just thought that ..."

"Please tell me you just bought him one for a gift," Bonnie's voice bordered on a plea.

"Well," Ross paused, "we could give him one as a gift ..."

Bonnie interupted him, "WE??" she snapped, "what do you mean WE?"

"I," Ross corrected himself, "I could give him one as a gift, but I thought we could sell them as part of the Prairie Spring Ministries."

"I thought you shut that down?" Bonnie's voice was like a gutteral hiss, "You DID shut it down didn't you?"

"Well," Ross glanced at J--.

"Hey, leave me out of this mess," J-- raised his hands as he shrugged his shoulders, "I never thought it was a good idea, I only agreed to open the mail and deposit the cheques."

Bonnie's eyes narrowed again as she glared at J--, then she turned her withering glare to Ross, "what do YOU have to say for yourself."

"Nothing," said Ross, swallowing, "I just thought that if we had something like this," his finger pointed to the bobble head sitting on the table, "that we could attract a whole new demographic to the ministry web site."

"Oh God," Bonnie groaned and held on to the post beside the till for support, "you can't be serious about this can you?"

Jaydee's eyes widened, her face fighting off a smile, she glanced at J-- who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. When their eyes met, they both burst out laughing. Bonnie shot Jaydee a glare.

"I wouldn't want to fire you," Bonnie snarled at Jaydee, and glancing at J-- she added, "and I wouldn't want to throw you out." In reply both Jaydee and J-- burst out laughing again.

"Bonnie," Ross' voice was definitely a plea, "Hear me out."

"Oh I'll hear you out," snapped Bonnie, "then I might throw you and your toys out." She paused and her face suddenly changed as though she had a very new and very ominous thought, "Ross." Bonnie paused as though she were measuring her words, "HOW many of those thing did you order?" Her hand motioned to the bobble-head.

"A few?" offered Ross, looking nervous.

"A few?" replied Bonnie, looking unconvinced.

"A couple of dozen?" offered Ross.

"A couple of dozen," said Bonnie, "how many exactly is a couple of dozen?"

"A hundred, or so ..." ventured Ross, his eyes avoiding Bonnie's.

"A hundred?" Bonnie shrieked, "How much are they?"

"With that number, I got them wholesale," offered Ross hopefully.

"How much?" Bonnie's voice returned to the Hal-like tone.

"Seven bucks each," said Ross.

"Canadian?" asked Bonnie, her eyes widening.

"Um," Ross paused before he continued, "American."

"Oh God," said Bonnie her hand tightening on the post, "Ross, how could you?"

"We'll sell them for 15," said Ross, his voice sounding hopeful, "and I bought them with the money we've taken in from the Prairie Springs Ministry. It didn't cost a us a dime."

"That IS true," said J--, the smile still plastered on his face, "there's been a serious amount of money taken in from the sales of the merchandise and the holy water packets."

"I thought you weren't going to do THAT!?" Bonnie's statement was more of question than a statement, "I thought you to The Rev you were shutting it down."

"Well, we were going to ..." said Ross as the front door opened. All four heads turned to see The Rev strolling in the front door. The smile on his face faded as he saw the four of them standing by the counter together, then he noticed the bobble-head sitting on the table and his eye brows furrowed.

"Oh God, now what?" asked The Rev his hand lifting the Bobble-head.

"Oh you don't want to know ..." said Jaydee, her eyes wide with wonder, and her lips fighting back a smile, "you really don't want to know."

Ross smiled and swallowed ...

1 comment:

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Just dropping by to say hi .... so .... HI !!
Hope you have a fabulous weekend.
Take care, Meow