Saturday, July 29, 2006

Overheard at Chipperfield's ... part XX ...

There was a cluster of regulars at one of the tables, and Bonnie was on the phone by the post behind the counter. Around here Jay-Dee and Kriss were busy getting orders ready ... the general hub-bub of the store was suddenly overwhelmed by Bonnie's voice. She didn't mean to be so loud, but it drew everyone's attention:

"NO, ROSS, I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA ..." Bonnie let out a growl as she punched the disconnected button with her thumb.

"Problem?" asked one of the regulars.

"Just Ross," answered Bonnie as she turned and offered a "fierce" glare to Kriss and Jay-Dee who had snorted with laughter behind her, "He's come up with an idea he says 'can't fail', and I always get worried when he comes up with those ..."

"What's his idea?" asked the regular, the others at the table listening in.

"Well, you know how he been "off" on that Stay-cation?" Bonnie asked, as most of the heads around the table were nodding in agreement, "Now he figures that he could assemble "Stay-cation kits" and sell them as a novelty item."

"Stay-cation kits?" asked one of the regulars, "what's a Stay-cation kit."

Bonnie pulled out a chair and sat down with the regulars as she started to share Ross' idea, "Well, he said what we need to do is get a tee-shirt, a cap, some post cards and a couple of novelty souvenir items from the destination for the Stay-cation. That way people can "come home" (Bonnie made quotation marks with her fingers) and wear a tee-shirt from wherever they pretended to have been."

"Like the Cuba tee-shirt Ross was wearing the other day?" asked one of the regulars.

"Exactly," answered Bonnie leaning over the table and holding her forehead with one hand, "He thinks that they will sell like hotcakes. People will buy them and send their friends the post cards and pretend they had an exotic holiday, all the while staying home and saving themselves money."

"Except for the $19.99 they give you,"

"$24.99 for a basic, $34.99 for a deluxe." answered Bonnie her head still down.


"Don't ask," answered Bonnie, "just don't ask ..."

"So, how does Ross figure this is a no lose idea?" asked one of the regulars.

"I dunno," aswered Bonnie, now slowly shaking her head, "he called me to tell me he came up with it while he was driving around in the back country of Cuba and he'd tell me more when he got back from his trip."

"Ross is on a trip?" asked one of the regulars, "didn't I see him in here early this morning?"

"He's on a Stay-cation," answered another at the table as he patted Bonnie on the shoulder.

"What in blue blazes is a Stay-cation?" asked the first regular.

"Ross got it from Corner Gas," answered the other regular, "it's when you imagine taking a trip somewhere while you stay home."

"He's imagining he's in Cuba right now," answered Bonnie, "and all his work calls are jaunts around the island."

"He talk to his customers in Spanish?" asked the first regular.

"I don't know, and I don't want to ask," answered Bonnie, "something are better left unasked."

"And sometimes we're better off not knowing," agreed one of the regulars.

All the heads around the table nodded in agreement.

"You know," one of the said quietly, "If Ross were an elevator, we'd have to say that he only stops at the odd floors ..."

"Some days that's truer then you know," said Bonnie as she stood up and headed back to her office, as she left she shook her head ...

1 comment:

Senor Roscoe said...

Buenos tardes, amigo. I'm having a great time here in Cuba (just kidding). Please don't reveal to the regulars at Chipperfield's that I'm really not in Cuba, but just PRETEND to be when I'm out covering my sales territory. I think next week it's Argentina, but I have to look up to see if they speak Spanish there. I don't want to waste all the practice I've been getting lately. I was tempted to go to Brazil, but I think they speak Portugese there, and I don't need the hassle. Bonnie is well aware of my "staycation" status, but I'm sure that because no one in Minnedosa really reads your blog that 99% of the town thinks I really am in Cuba this week (the poor gullible fools). Wait till I wear my Argentinian Mar del Plata beach shirt next week, and they'll just have to believe I've been THERE! By the way, the Deluxe Staycation Kit allows you to have REAL BEACH SAND in your swimsuit - how's about THAT for convincing! I'm considering raising the price on that little gem. Anyway, please keep this thing on the QT until it's time for the official launch. I know, I know, you can't help it if those 3 relatives of yours read your blog, but as long as they're the only ones (and based on your site meter, they are) we should keep this under wraps until I'm ready. Hope you're enjoying your REAL vacation - bet my Cuba one cost less than 10% of yours! Hasta luego.